Two witches, a Werewolf, and a Dog walk into a Tournament
by Nemesis13
Summary: Lillith Potter-Black's life has turned around since third year, she has her eyes on the prettiest and smartest girl in the school, her new dad and uncle give her constant material for her pranking, and her rather violent friends at Gringotts keep the media at bay. Unfortunately nothing is able to prepare her for her name being drawn from the Goblet of Fire. Dark gray Fem!Harry
1. Chapter 1

_**I wanted to write a Triwizard story starring my Lilly Alice Potter-Slytherin-Black character, so here it is; this will at times be reasonably serious and mature as well as being absolutely insane and humorous. Don't be shocked at the swearing and crude jokes this is a "Harry" who spent the entire summer bar hopping across Europe with a pair of Marauders afterall. Anyway enjoy, this is honestly just a side project so don't worry about it drawing me away from my other stories.**_

_Edit-**READ THIS-Right the differences from canon other then being fem!Harry, being a girl the Dursley's didn't abuse her as much, neglect more then anything because they raised Dudley not to hit girls, in doing so she's more confident and studious, trade off she never befriended Ron and attached herself to Hermione and Neville. Since she's more observant she figured out Moony was a werewolf early on and kept reminding him to take his potion, so Snape got himself hexxed by a vindictive Neville in the Shrieking Shack and Pettigrew was captured. Oh and after the whole "Heir of Slytherin" thing everyone stopped taking housepoints from her because she made it a point to try and lose Gryffindor the house cup, bit spiteful.**_

_**Thats enough backstory, the rest of it will be inserted organically, enjoy!**_

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><p>There were a few constants in Lillith Potter-Black's life, Hermione and Neville would always have her back, her dad Sirius and Uncle Mooney would always be there to protect her, and if she was cornered by an outside force she'd stab the hell out of it like Auntie 'Droma taught her. Ever since Professor Lupin had dragged the bastard traitor Pettigrew before Amelia Bones Lilly's life had completely turned around and thank Morgana the old Maruader had remembered to take his wolfsbane potion that night.<p>

All that being said, her constants hadn't prepared her for their new batshit insane DADA professor and his lecturing a bunch of fourth years on the unforgivable curses; she was unfortunately rather intimately familiar with them so she along with Hermione and Neville didn't join in the laughter as Professor Moody guided the controlled spider along the room. Honestly she found the entire situation rather crass, Dad had gone into detail about what had happened in the last war with those who had been under the imperius curse and this was just so...tasteless.

Moody noticed her cold stare before bellowing out "POTTER!" Years of dealing with the hook nosed bat colloquially known as Professor Snape kept her from jumping, meeting the unstable DADA's professors single good eye she rose a brow in question.

"What would you do if someone put you under the imperius Potter?" Grimacing at the stares (and silently thanking Auntie 'Droma for cutting her bangs in such a way to hide her curse scare) Lilly rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"I'd probably murder the son of a bitch stupid enough to attempt to screw with my head, professor," unlike what she and the majority of the class expected Moody burst into laughter as he evenly met her gaze,

"And _THAT_ is the response of a warrior witch young Miss Potter, with your permission I'd like to see how you handle the imperius, I admit curiosity has the better of me considering your past history with the unforgivable's." Oddly enough despite her threat Lilly actually didn't mind the idea of testing her mettle so she nodded her assent as most of the room shifted in discomfort, she met the professors gaze evenly as he roared, "IMPERIO!"

For a brief moment she felt complete peace, complete contentment, and the suggestions rolling through her mind felt completely rational, unfortunately for the caster Lillith Potter-Black had never _known_ peace and contentment until recently so she was automatically wary of it. As the voice demanded she jump on her desk and dance she felt an overwhelming surge of disgust as her eyes glowed in rage,

"No. I am no ones puppet," the room remained silent before Moody broke out into more maniacal laughter, god she missed Professor Lupin,

"You are a very strong young woman Miss Potter, I hope to never get on your bad side, now who would like to see if they can shrug off one of these nasty curses like the lovely young lady here? Longbottom, lets see if you have a quarter of the resilience your parents had!" The rest of the class had her classmates suffer under the unforgivable, she was unshocked that Weasley was highly susceptible (going insofar as to still be affected after class, pathetic) and that Hermione too could eventually shrug the spell off after a time, you couldn't have a brain like hers and not be able to outwit something like mind control.

Oddly enough despite the abnormal DADA class Lilly was rather fine with how her day had gone up until she ran into Neville in the stairwell, the poor boy looked shell shocked, after the display of the cruciatus on the spiders along with his foray into the imperius, Lilly wasn't too surprised. Her dad had let her in on the details of what happened to her cousins parents, afterwords she'd offered to always be there to talk to him about it if need be; walking up behind the young man she wrapped him in a tight hug causing him to momentarily start. Realizing who it was he relaxed a bit as he let his head fall back onto her shoulder,

"That was rough Lils...really rough," nodding sadly Lilly began swaying her friend back and forth as they watched the rain scatter on the picture window,

"Always is mate, all we can do is face the storm and prepare ourselves for the next blow, you did good, Aunt Alice and Uncle Frank would have been proud of you." Smiling a bit Nevillle straitened himself out as he broke the embrace, turning around he pecked her on the forehead and pulled her into a hug,

"Thanks cousin, I really appreciate it," grinning she returned the hug and kiss and held him for a moment longer,

"What families for, don't worry, it'll never happen again, next dark bastard comes along we'll AK him so fast that Fudge won't even have a chance to accept the bribe out of Azkaban." Neville snorted in agreement and excused himself leaving her to her thoughts, turning she saw that Professor Moody had been watching the entire exchange,

"You're different young lady I saw a glimmer of what goes on in your head, what you show the world at large isn't who you are to your friends, there's...darkness to you." Lilly actually had to grin at that as she leaned against the wall,

"Is it any surprise professor? I'm not sure what contributed to it, was it the neglected childhood, being the schools resident punching bag for three years, or the blood adoption binding me to the Black family? Dunno, but unlike what the Headmaster preaches I don't believe in absolute forgiveness, if someone attacks you hit them back and make sure they can never do it again, constant vigilance." She shrugged a bit, if he already knew about her hidden ruthlessness why bother lying about it, Moody for his part grinned at the explanation as he took a hit from his flask, she casually wondered if he drank Ogden's like dad did. Placing the container back in his pocket he nodded a bit as he turned to leave,

"You may have been born a Potter but you are most certainly a Black, I'll be keeping my good eye on you young lady, something tells me greatness will be following in your wake."

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><p>Truth be told Lilly didn't give a shit about the Triwizard tournament at this point, Dad had early on demanded she give an unbreakable vow to not put her name in the cup knowing perfectly well that his daughter would attempt to do so simply because she'd been told not to. That and he overheard her plans with the Weasley twins, in a very Marauder fashion he was actually proud of that, the old dog had sniffed a little telling her James would have been proud.<p>

It had seemed a bit excessive to threaten her magic but when Ginny had casually mentioned to Luna that her brother was bringing _Dragons_, fucking DRAGONS for first event she kind of understood his point. All told though she really hadn't cared about the eternal glory only the mischief, after going one on one with a fucking basilisk and killing it with a bloody sword she really had no inadequacy issues to iron out.

So she was absently playing footsie with Hermione (who had the most adorable blush at the moment) while the names were called out, the blonde cutie from France, Fleur something or other was declared Beauxbatons champion. The rather dour and vacant looking Viktor Krum was unsurprisingly chosen as Durmstrang's champion and her friend and fellow seeker Cedric Diggory was Hogwarts, good for him the 'Puffs didn't get enough of the spotlight in her opinion.

As she contemplated how to ask Hermione to Hogsmeade on the next free weekend and how to play it off as _not_ a date to the school at large her attention was drawn to a fourth piece of smoldering parchment spat out by the goblet of fire, the entire room went silent as it landed in the headmasters hand as he shakily read it,

"For...the Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters...Lillith Potter..." as the entire room turned to stare at her she let out an unintentional pulse of magic as her green eyes flared in rage,

"No. In fact, FUCK no, I will not have some dark arsehole try to murder me AGAIN this year! Three times is enough damnit!" As the hall paused to register her rather ...vocal display of anger she hopped up and strode towards the head table, "What. The. Shit. Headmaster, Xavier's is from a fucking comic book from the colonies, someone is setting me up to die and I refuse to participate!" Dumbledore for his part schooled his features into that irritating grandfatherly expression, exchanging glances with his head of houses he stated,

"Please enter the room with your fellow champions as we attempt to figure this out young lady, you're making a rather large scene," The pleading look in his eyes softened her anger a bit, maybe the old codger really had no bloody idea what was going on, she was still pissed but agreed to talk privately. Marching into the room the french hottie looked up at her in confusion as she asked,

"Yes, is there something you need to tell us?" Winking at the blonde she turned to face Cedric and addressed him directly,

"Someone's trying to kill me...again," Diggory looked confused for a moment before a look of realization crossed his face, dropping his shoulders in resignation he asked,

"Replacing me or fourth champion?" Snorting Lilly leaned against the wall ignoring the confused Bulgarian and Frenchwoman,

"This is Hogwarts, nothing is simple, fourth champion, I'm sure the Daily Prophet will eat this shit up," Sighing again Cedric walked over to her and threw an arm around her shoulders,

"I'm sorry, after that rather public vow your dad made you take I can only imagine how furious you are right now," leaning into the embrace she nodded as the doors slammed open letting in the various headmasters, the prats Crouch and Bagmen, and oddly enough Snape. Glaring at the greasy git who'd made himself her nemesis due to part time stalking and missing knickers she didn't notice that Igor Karkaroff was eyeing her with a bit of amused calculation, apparently her entire disregard for authority tickled him. Not in the mood to deal with her dead mother's former best friend she snapped out,

"If you have something to say Snivelus get it the fuck out of the way I have no patience to deal with your bullshit or body odor right now, say your snide little bit and get the hell out of here." The adults and foreign champions looked at her in shock while Karkaroff snickered, Cedric being in the know simply kept his peace since even the 'Puffs hated the creepy overblown bat. Madam Maxime glanced about and asked,

"Iz et normal for students to be zo...vulgar to zeir elders at 'Ogwarts?" Cedric spoke up with,

"She spent the entire summer with Sirius Black," there was a chorus of understanding "Ah's" then an uncomfortable silence reigned until Lilly turned to Dumbledore,

"Verdict?" The old man was shaken from his thoughts with a sigh knowing full well she couldn't have submitted her name under the oaths she had taken, but alas rules are rules so he shook his head sadly,

"I'm sorry my dear girl but the contract is binding," nodding slowly Lilly glanced to the ceiling as she muttered a simple,

"Bugger me," glancing to Snape she shuddered a bit, "Never mind...so question? How the hell did my name get submitted and why is it magically binding if I didn't, you know, put the bloody thing in the cup?" Snape sneered a bit (shocker) as he snidely replied,

I'm sure you found some way to bypasse your vows for your grandstanding Black," gods the man had been insufferable since start of term, its like he took personal offense that the blood adoption changed her auburn hair to a rather tasteful raven black. Meeting Cedric's gaze he rolled his eyes more then likely thinking the same thing, Proffesor Moody then stepped in (where the fuck had he come from?) and handed her the goblet parchement. She let out a groan recogonizing the torn slip of yellow paper immediately,

"Morrigan damn it, this is my permission slip to Hogsmeade!" She had to admit it, clever, she'd been really looking forward to the trip so the goblet read that intent...bugger. Sighing she tossed it into the air and rubbed her temples, "Now what, what do we do for this farce?" Ludo Bagman went on a tear about the champions not knowing what their task was until right beforehand to test their skills, like that was going to happen. Eyeing her fellow champions Lilly absently decided she'd let them know what the task was when they were alone, they were teenagers in a contest that had been banned due to too many deaths, they'd need every advantage they could get to survive this. As they were escorted from the room she was intercepted by Hermione who looked terrified,

"What happened?" Staring her best friend in the eye a moment she hooked her arm through hers and began walking back to Gryffindor tower,

"So it ends up we've got a bit of a situation, before we deal with the rest of the house lets call my dad and uncle, something tells me we're going to need a Marauders touch."

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><p><em><strong>I'm mildly curious where I'm taking this myself, that poor dragon has no idea what's going to hit it. If you're all curious this is basically the same Lilly as from my story 'Another Day in the Life of' just in fourth year, so that means foul mouthed, clever, violent, a bit on the darker side and incredibly gay, sooooo have fun? Oh yes, Kakaroff, I read a rather amusing unhinged Harry Triwizard story sometime ago and his rants at Dumbledore made the man laugh on occasion, liking the idea I'm actually going to have Igor be fair since he finds her disrespect for authority endearing. Anywho, REVIEW, I have to go work on the next chapter for 'Black Halloween' and 'Never Alone', goddess I have the attention span of a cat on speed.<strong>_


	2. Chapter 2

_**So second chapter, my computer ate the recent chapter to 'A Black Halloween' and since I really don't feel like rewriting at the moment you all get this. Side note, Cedric in this chapter is me, nothing is more jarring for a 16 year old boy then having an acquaintance reveal she's a lesbian and drop all her worries and fears on you. She eventually moved to California to you know...avoid everything that is Ohio, so good on her I guess, anyway my beta wasn't in tonight so enjoy the typos, as always REVIEW! **_

_**P.S. I'm sorry for Fleur and Krum's accents, I don't have a copy of Goblet anymore so I forget how J.K.R had it set up, sorry =/**_

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><p>As the Headmaster lead his coworkers and ministry officials out of the room Cedric began rubbing his temples in a vain attempt to avoid an oncoming headache, part of him wanted to be mad at Lils for stealing his thunder, the other part of him was calling himself a prat for even thinking that. The young lady had so many misadventures since she had been introduced to the magical world that all she wanted was to be left alone, hell she confided as much in him while they were both stuck in the medical ward for a week.<p>

That had been an...enlightening period, when the dementors had come onto the quiditch pitch in the middle of the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor game pure chaos had taken over, the flock of vile creatures had caused half the players to go catatonic and fall off their brooms in midflight and the remaining to panic. Cedric himself had broken his leg when he'd hit the ground and Lilly her left arm, the professors were trying to cast their patronous to repel the soul sucking bastards with little result.

Lilly had stumbled in front of him head turned to the sky, he could see the look of pure fury cross her face as she watched the dementors terrorize the two teams when she pointed her wand up and roared out the patronus charm. To this day he'd never felt such peace and love as when the massive stag erupted forth charging the heavens leaving burning dementors in its wake, it would be a sight he'd remember till the day he died.

As the crowd watched on in silence she'd muttered,

_"Go get 'em Prongs," _Cedric realized he was going into shock when the pain of his broken leg began to fade, at that point a now thoroughly spent Lilly fell on her backside next to him cradling her broken arm. Not sure why he felt it was important at the time he'd asked,

_"Lillith...how...what...what were you thinking about when you cast that?" _She had given him a dreamy goofy grin obviously in shock as well and ready to pass out she quietly muttered,

_"Hermione," _they had both woken up in the medical ward a few hours later and it took him a bit of time to eventually wheedle out her big dark secret, apparently she played for the home team and was terrified anyone would find out. After giving her a vow that he'd never willing let her secrets out she'd basically had an emotional collapse at finally having a neutral confidant and unloaded her entire life to him, suffice it to say it hadn't been pretty.

Fleur spoke up breaking him from his reverie,

"Zo, why don't we get to know each ozer?" Both men agreed and they spent the next twenty minutes exchanging background information, eventually the large Bulgarian asked,

"Vut about the fourth champion? Vat do you know of her?" Sighing Cedric scratched his head and resisted the urge to say "Everything," deciding on a course of action he nodded mostly to himself,

"Lillith is...a complex person, she had fame thrusted on her that she never wanted and personally finds disgusting, I mean how would you like to be famous because a psychopath murdered your parents and somehow failed to killed you? Anyway, crazy things keep happening to her outside of her control and her little blow up was probably her finally getting overwhelmed at it happening four years in a row." Fleur nodded a bit then asked,

"How iz she able to get away wiz speaking to the professors wiz so much disrespect and vulgarity?" That actually made him laugh,

"Oh that's a good story really, second year she was accused of being the Heir of Slytherin and petrifying muggleborn students across the school, never mind the fact her mother was a muggleborn as well as her best friend. Anyway her house ostracized her aside from the quiditch team and a handful of friends, when the whole mess was cleared up and the Gryffindors tried to apologize she told them to and I quote "Fuck off."

"So anyway outside of playing her best at the house quiditch matches she actively went out of her way to lose her house the cup out of spite, eventually the professors caught on that she was swearing like a sailor and breaking rules solely to lose points. They tried to hit her with detentions but she just refused to go and when they forced her she has this nuttier then hell house elf apparate her elsewhere." He chuckled a bit at this before continuing,

"Thing is, she has the second highest marks in the entire school just behind her best friend, Hermione is the research savant and Lilly is the queen of practical application, so they have this belligerent genius ignoring all the rules purposefully sabotaging the house system at the same time as being a star pupil. Eventually they just quit trying to punish her and in return she usually only messes with Professor Snape who to be fair deserves it, that's her in a nutshell."

Both foreigners stared at him a moment before shaking their heads in bafflement,

"You English are insane you know this yes?" Cedric conceded the point but added,

"Yes...but some more so then others."

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><p>"Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!" This was essentially what Lilly's vocabulary consisted of at the moment, an occasional "Goddamnit," or "Bloody Hell," interupted the litany but for the most part she didn't deviate. If Hermione hadn't spent the past summer hols traveling Europe with her parents, the Tonks, Sirius, Remus and Lilly she'd probably be trying to reproach her for her language, at this point she knew not to bother.<p>

Really Sirius loved his adoptive daughter more then anything but the former con...well he wasn't actually ever convicted was he...the former prisoner had a sailors mouth and Lilly gleefully took his queue to say exactly what she wanted. It seemed that her new dad approved of almost all her bad behavior, as long as the girl kept making progress that would make her birth parents proud Sirius Black would actively support Lilly's staunch "Respect is earned, not given" outlook on authority figures.

First year Hermione would be appalled, fourth year not so much, her worship of authority figures began to decay her first Halloween as a witch when an eleven year old girl had to save her from a mountain troll then a few months later had to shiv a possessed professor in the neck with his own broken wand all while the vaunted teachers did nothing. Then second years idiocy with that pedophile Lockhart, the basilisk, and the rampant bigotry, in the end how was all that resolved? Neville stupified Lockhart as he walked in on the pervert undressing an imperius'ed Katie Bell sending him through a third story window, Lilly killed the basilisk, and no one stopped the racial slurs.

Third year had been the eyeopener when she realized even the ministry was useless and corrupt, the idea that Sirius Black had rotted in hell on Earth for twelve years for a crime he didn't commit without even getting a trial was simply appalling. Once again how was this situation resolved? Children ignoring the rules while the adults did nothing...again... So it was with that mindset Hermione had entered fourth year, and as far as things like this go she wasn't shocked in the slightest that the adults screwed everything up and refused to help, par for the course at this point.

Wrapping an arm around her irate friend she guided her to one of the empty corridors near Gryffindor tower and once stopped pulled her into a hug, eventually the girls rapid fire venacular of vulgarity stopped as she calmed down,

"Thanks 'mione...ok...ok lets call dad now and figure out where we stand," nodding she let the ravenette go as she pulled out a mirror and tapped the expansion rune on its corner, the small rectangle then elongated into a full length standing mirror. Tapping a second rune Lilly stated, "Papa Padfoot" and the mirror darkened for a time, eventually the dashingly handsome scoundrel known as Sirius Black was staring back at the young witches,

"Lilly! Hermione! How are you girls doing! I admit I didn't expect a call for awhile but its always good to see family, hows things, did any of your friends get picked for the tournament?" Nodding Lilly warily stated,

"Yeah Cedric Diggory, 'puff seeker," Sirius grinned at that, she'd confided in the old dog how Cedric was basically her live in counselor at the school so he was fairly happy the kid had a shot at glory,

"That's great! So why do you look so glum?" Lifting her glasses and rubbing the bridge of her nose she let out a hissing sigh before replying,

"Because some wanker put my name in the cup under a fourth school and used my permission slip for Hogsmeade so my magic is bound to the tournament..." Sirius face fell as he stared at her a moment before muttering,

"Well...fuck all kinds of duck..." The girls snorted at that as he ran his hands through his long hair, eventually he asked,

"I know I shouldn't question your honesty honey but you had no involvment with this right?" Hermione was pleased to see that Lilly showed no signs of anger to the question,

"Nah don't worry about it I'd be suspicious of me too, but no this wasn't on me, when I found out the first task was fighting a fucking dragon from GinGin I totally lost any and all interest in competing...shit that's right I need to inform the other champions...bollocks this is so messed up," both Sirius and Hermione stared at her in horror before they both blew up, eventually they calmed down but not by much.

"DRAGONS, they're making my best friend fight a bloody dragon...I just...how irresponsible can these people be?!" Both Black's smirked at the slight brunettes use of a curse word but chose not to comment on it, Lilly then addressed Sirius directly.

"Dad I need my special wand and holster as well as three extra sets of the gear we had made from the basilisk hide this summer, someone is obviously trying to kill me or kidnap me or whatnot...again... so I want to kit out the other champions as well. I didn't even want to be in this tournament so fuck it I'll help everyone I can," nodding and eyeing his daughter with a look of respect he eventually stated,

"I'll be in tomorrow first thing and I'll drag the bloody useless Minister here as well to try and worm you out of this, I'll bring Ted Tonks along for legal help and I'm sure Mooney and Andromeda will probably want to see you too, hang in there kiddo we'll get through this. I gotta go now, need to write some very..._angry_ letters to some rather self important people, I love you girls, take care." With that the call ended and the mirror shrank back down to pocket size, jamming the device into her robes Lilly turned to Hermione and gave her a cheeky smile,

"Ready to face the lions den with your crazy friend?" Grinning Hermione hooked her arm through Lilly's and let her guide her towards the Gryff's common room,

"Always."

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><p>Neville Longbottom was currently leaning against the wall of the Gryffindor common room waiting on his friends silently recollecting the past, first year he'd been an introverted chubby little boy who let everyone walk over his none existent self esteem and let others opinions of him color his outlook on life; then he had met Lilly on the Hogwarts express...everything changed after that. When he'd lost Trevor (again, goddess was he glad Grandmother agreed to let him leave him behind this year) and began sobbing at the loss of the only friend he'd ever had a pair of girls suddenly materialized by his side, one with caring chocolate brown eyes and bushy brunette hair and the other a fiery redhead with a cunning emerald gaze.<p>

They'd calmed him down and asked what was wrong then spent the next hour helping him find his lost pet, eventually successful they invited him to their cabin and thus laying the foundations for a life long friendship. Neville shook his head ruefully as he recalled their first encounter with the Weasely twins and how Lilly had casually asked if they needed apprentice pranksters, the massive grins the diabolical duo sported had sent shivers of dread down his spine at the time. The twins had ended up becoming the trio's mentors later on which was brilliant, unfortunately there was the constant complication of Ronald, grimacing as he glanced over to the ginger prat Neville had to resist the urge to strangle the little bastard as he was badmouthing his best friend.

Glaring at Ron was nothing new for him, he'd disliked the jealous moron since the day he barged into their cabin babbling about needing to meet the 'Girl-Who-Lived' (damn did she hate that title)and Lilly still new to their world had given him a chance, as she liked to say everyone got one...singular. That had been...a memorable ride, when Malfoy had shown up and casually insulted Lilly's choice of companions no one expected her to rush forward and punch Draco in the face while simultaneously throwing him into his two goons. As the trio collapsed in the hall she'd slammed the door shut and looked at her awestruck companions in confusion, her "What? He was annoying," was just so...Lilly, at that point though Ron had said something that upset Hermione and as people learned through the years there was no quicker way to piss Lilly off then that.

With Ron thrown out of the cabin (later on the twins had nodded in understanding simply stating in stereo "Typical") they'd all ended up at Hogwarts and found themselves in the same house, and Lilly had gone out of her way to break Neville out of his shell while also attempting to get Hermione to lighten up. She'd considered it personal challenges and when she'd found out Neville was her cousin well...heh...there was no helping him at that point Lillith Potter was rabidly protective of her friends and family.

In the time he'd known his best friends he'd assisted in killing a troll, two professors, a basilisk, and a shit ton of dementors, it had been a hell of a ride and it had paid unexpected dividends, his always judgmental Grandmother had been beside herself with joy when she found out who he'd befriended and the shenanigans they'd involved themselves in. She'd happily stated that he was finally acting like his father an had gone so far as to pay for a commissioned wand over the summer, oddly enough both he and Lilly's cores came from the same creature although she'd left her new sandalwood wand at home for the term. Something about not needing another reason for Snape to hound her if he found out she had two wands, honestly couldn't blame her but it was a shame really, the basilisk optic nerve cores made their magic sing, no one dared accuse him of being a squib anymore.

Hearing the portrait door open down the stairs the entire common room went quiet as a familiar voice was heard echoing out, Lilly's always musical tone derisively stating,

"I swear to the old gods the first fucker that accuses me of cheating to get my name in this messed up tournament is going to end up with their balls in a vise," Glancing over to the now pale faced Ronald Neville couldn't help but grinning, damn did he love his friends.

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><p><em><strong>So I've now established Hermione, Neville, and Sirius' personalities in this fic, next chapter, 'No fucks given' Lilly meets Umbridge, Sirius arms and armors the champions, and Neville and Hermione attempt to build a WMD, until next time!<strong>_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Next Chapter Up, Please REVIEW!**_

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><p>Lillith would honestly be the first person to admit that she had certain issues that limited her ability to socialize, for example when she felt a person was beneath her interest they simply stopped being registered as a human being in her mind; much like how your average muggle would ignore a bum on the street really. Hermione told her this was a sign of sociopathic tendencies, which she'd freely acknowledge sounded about right especially after the bullshit she went through second year, there were roughly ten people in her entire house she'd consider her friends after that fiasco everyone else was just a useful idiot. Useful idiots could be as the moniker described <em>useful<em> but on that note that also makes them disposable and since she really had no intentions of associating with what amounted to potential cannon fodder she stuck close to her core friends.

Ronald Weasely was not a core friend, his little sister Ginny was, as where the twins (their tutoring her on potions the only reason she got consistent 'O's in Snape's class earned them major points) and she was probably the only person in the entire school who got along with Percy. He'd confided in her once "You never did anything to harm our houses name that was not done in retaliation, while I cannot condone your actions I cannot find it in myself to condemn them either," which in Percy speak essentially meant "Rock on little sister." But she was going on a tangent, Ronald, the walking food vacuum that proved that a mother could in fact use up her ability to produce intelligent males in large quantities was currently starring at her pale faced with a furious fire of jealousy in his eyes.

This never made any sense to Lilly, the ginger prat was jealous of her "fame" never once registering the fact that her parents had been brutally murdered and their killer somehow fucked up offing her thus making her famous, woo. Truthfully she didn't know what pissed her off more at the moment, the fact that after four years the idiot still hadn't registered they weren't friends or that he obviously thought she'd put her name in that goblet despite the unbreakable vow.

Deciding to just stare him down while letting her eyes slowly begin to glow she remained unmoving at the top of the common room stairs as Hermione shifted about nervously beside her, eventually deciding that his brain probably locked up she said,

"Weasel...you're in my way," it said something about the boys mental facilities that he was going to remain belligerent even after she threatened genitalia damage via shop tools, after a moment he finally said,

"If you were going to cheat your name into the cup you could have at least told the rest of us how you did it," this was just...goddamn did she really have to deal with this right now, really? As a collective the other brave lions in the room all took a step back, never let it be said there was anything wrong with having a strong sense of self preservation. Glaring at Ronald she calmly replied,

"I do believe I made it perfectly clear that I had no part in that, Hermione can verify as can your family since unlike my rather forgettable times with you I happen enjoy their company so they would have known, and I would be careful about throwing around the *cheat* word if I were you." Ronald proving yet again that he hadn't a sapient thought in his head snapped back,

"Of course you'd have Granger on your side, that bookworm nearly cost us the house cup last year when she gave MacGonnagal that broom your Godfather sent you and you even forgave her! She'd say anything to stay in your good graces!" Oh for the love of the Morrigan, and having the audacity to involve Hermione...

"Listen Ronald, I'm not sure you understand how women operate but we have an aversion to sticking long objects between our legs before assessing where they've been first, so obviously I wouldn't have issues with my best friend looking out for me." This got a light chuckle from the entire room, Lavender and Pavarti being the loudest and Hermione going completely red faced, Ronald just looked at her in confusion, unsurprising. "As for costing Gryffindor the house cup, at what point in the past two years have I given a flying fuck about that paperweight? You and those like you made your bed second year, now you have to lay in it." Before anything else could be said three redheads stepped forward, Gred and Forge each grabbed one of Ronald's arms as Ginny stunned him, turning to her personal hero Ginny nervously said,

"Sorry about that Lils we'll keep the prat under control from here on out," grinning at her surrogate sister Lilly pulled her in a brief hug causing the small girl to squeak,

"Aw, thank you Firecracker, after your brothers deposit the refuse in his room grab them and meet us in the Come and Go room ok?" Her favorite redhead nodded quickly as she bolted after her family, ignoring the rest of the common room Lilly went to her dorm to grab a few books and then followed Hermione who was quickly flanked by Neville as they made their way to their destination. There was alot that could be said for having a "bad" reputation, on the positive, _everyone_ got the hell out of your way so it took no time at all to reach the empty hall and summon the door to their personal lab.

"I truly rue the day someone else figures out this room is here, the idea of having to transfer everything to the Chamber of Secrets...damn does that place smell terrible" Neville lamented, glancing to her cousin Lilly nodded in agreement,

"Yes, it will be a definite loss for us and I'm not fond of the alternative either but there is very little we can do for it outside of the literal dozen layers of 'Notice me nots' we've placed on this hall. Come on lets get set up while we wait for the others to show, our little project isn't going to maintain itself." As the doors appeared before them Lilly pushed them open to reveal what amounted to a massive laboratory, bubbling cauldrons of brewing potions, pulsing runes containing various magical substances, and in the center of the room the key to all their efforts.

Approaching the central table Lilly examined the glowing runes snaking along its surface while Hermione checked the golden liquid in the various vials, the maze of faint silvery lines all led to the Nu Marauder's greatest coup, the philosophers stone. Honestly when Lilly had acquired the stone she'd had no intention of ever using it, but after a group of first years managed to get through the defenses and off the possessed professor that was after it she felt it was far safer in her knicker drawer then anywhere near Dumbledore. The sad part was she had been right, no one ever found out about it and Lilly only broke it out after Hermione had been petrified by the basilisk, that of course had required bringing Fred and George in on its existence since she needed help with something as complex as the Elixir of Life.

That had actually led to her most (at the time) daring bit of breaking and entering, getting into the Headmasters office and stealing a copy of his alchemy notes, sadly it had been so easy to pull off it was disturbing, all she'd had to do was fly up to his window, vanish the glass and riffle through his bookcase while under her invisibility cloak. After that anti-climatic let down they'd gotten to work on the project shortly before Lilly had her faceoff with Voldemort's shade, at that point she had ended up in the hospital wing with the whole getting poisoned by a basilisk thing...damn did she hate her second year. Shaking herself from her memories she noticed Hermione nodding approvingly at the current batch of the Elixir of Life,

"Looks good so far, I can't believe how much of our supply was needed to heal Sirius' body from his time in Azkaban, I'm beginning to think that a proportional amount is needed for the damage to mind body and soul...either that or our first tun was weaker then we thought." She glanced towards Neville who looked a bit nervous as he observed the massive alchemical array, "Don't worry Nev this should be enough to bring your parents minds back, Lilly and I have been playing with the arithmantic formula's for over two years, if anything our trial run on Sirius is a successful proof of concept." He smiled and actively tried to relax some as Lilly absently rubbed his back while reading through some notes in her free hand, eventually the doors swung open and the three remaining members of the Nu Marauder's entered.

"Now that Ronnikins is taken care of lets get down to business!" Fred announced cheerfully,

"Indeed indeed, how has our little project handled itself?" Questioned George, Ginny simply rolled her eyes,

"I sincerely doubt much has changed since yesterday you two, I admit though I'm a bit curious myself with the swapped out out ingredients. Took nearly six months to make what we needed to use on Sirius, I'm kinda hoping the refined formula works better," Hermione waved to the trio of redheads as she glanced over Lilly's shoulder to review the notes herself.

"Its looking like you were right, unicorn blood freely given to a virgin maiden was what we were missing, thank Luna again for us will you? As it stands I think we can have this batch ready before Christmas, Lilly what do you think?" The ravenette remained quiet for a moment then nodded,

"Yes, and as soon as we've repaired the Longbottom's minds we can switch back to gold production, our liquid assets are running low again since most of the previous run is tied up in investments, the return for the next fiscal year will be rather impressive though so I'm not complaining." The Weasely trio nodded at that obviously pleased, while Lilly was vested in this venture due to the fact that she didn't have access to her families wealth until she was seventeen and the allure of how horrifically illegal it all was this was a long term shot at financial freedom for her ginger friends.

Ginny approached the cauldrons and nodded approvingly, the little redhead's gold flecked eyes taking in the potions before her, luckily despite Snape's inability to teach the youngest Weasely shared the twins innate talent for brewing so her seal of approval was always a good thing. Lilly honestly loved her pint sized friend, Hermione and Neville were amazing people who would do anything for her but as the old joke went, they'd gladly bail her out of jail in the dead of night while Ginny would have been sharing her cell laughing about how awesome that had been. Pity she was as strait as a ruler, ah well, falling into an armchair that had suddenly appeared behind her Lilly pulled out one of her books and began reviewing,

"Well, Gred, Forge, any new breakthroughs on the pranking front?" The twins grinned wickedly as they popped a candy into each others mouths and turned into rather large luridly yellow canaries, about a minute later they molted their feathers and returned to normal while bellowing out an exaggerated "Tada!" Shaking her head Lilly gave them a thumbs up and began thinking of ways she could weaponize the prank, as a gag it was amusing, as a method of killing people it could be profitable in so long as she felt like getting creative.

"Ok, I need to get some rest for tomorrow so lets just skip the rest of our nightly plotting and do our animagus meditations so I can go hole myself up in my room," the group sat in a circle and began their mind clearing rituals, a few hours later they all groggily stood shaking their heads to clear their vision. According to dad this was the most annoying part of becoming an animagus, once you meditated to the point your animal form is revealed (if you have one) you would take the necessary potion and basically just play around transfiguring your body until it "clicked".

Sighing Lilly cracked her back and headed for the dorms, tomorrow was another day and all that tripe, passing through the silent common room she ignored the rest of the Gryffindor's and slammed open the door to the dorm farthest from the stairs, she and Hermione had taken to staying there when she'd been ostracized second year and she'd never left.

Fuck everything kept going back that goddamn snake... Plopping into bed with her arms behind her head Lilly silently acknowledged that if it hadn't been for her friends getting involved she'd probably have let the entire school get petrified, they betrayed her and she had no intention of forgiving them. Sighing she mumbled, "And now I'm their champion...irony you fickle whore..." and with that she fell into the bliss of sleep.

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><p>The next day Lilly was rudely awoken by her favorite brunette and redhead, well to be fair it was only rude due to the fact she had no desire to deal with the schools inevitable drama and the pair of witches were going to drag her out into the thick of it, throwing her arm over her eyes she let out an exasperated sigh.<p>

"Ugh...why the fuck do I even still go to this school, I'm sure there's places just as respectable in Canada or Australia, I'd even be willing to deal with the States if they don't make me fight a bloody dragon," she whined mostly to herself, Hermione 'hmmphed' a bit at that,

"You stay because you don't want to leave your friends behind in this madhouse, we'd be dead in a week!" Grimacing at that she lifted her arm to meet her friends gaze, the bookworm blushed slightly realizing the truth behind her words, both Hermione and Ginny would be dead if it hadn't been for Lilly's intervention. Leaping up suddenly she pulled both girls into a tight hug,

"Don't worry I'd never leave you two behind, besides what would Nev do without me playing wingman? Come on lets get breakfast," gasping for breath Ginny tried to worm out of her arms while Hermione was letting out small squeaks, laughing a bit Lilly let them go and changed. The trio hooked up with the boys in the common room expertly avoiding Ronald, making there way to the Great Hall became interesting seeing as several students were wearing buttons that switched between "Support Cedric Diggory the _Real_ Hogwarts champion," and "Potter Stinks." She was actually beside herself on this one, who would waste money on an attempt to belittle her and have _that _as the coup de grace?

"You like what you see Potter? I had them made last night," Ah, that answers that, turning to address her self appointed nemesis (she considered Snape a far more satisfying foe, being able to outsmart a grapefruit worked in his favor there) Lilly faced off against the sickly pale blonde and his two gay lovers. Well she didn't know that for sure but that's what she cataloged them under, Neville agreed as did Ginny, Hermione abstained from voting but she _did_ smile so there's that.

"Wotcher Draco, should probably demand your money back, the Noble family of Malfoy was ripped off seeing as they got my name wrong," looking confused he let out a rather intelligent sounding "Huh?" causing Lilly to hold her forehead in annoyance. "My name isn't Potter, it is the Lady Lillith Oriana Potter-Black heiress to the Most Ancient and Noble Houses of Potter and Black that can trace their lineage to the days of Merlin, did you forget that Frenchman?" Draco's face started turning as red as Ginny's hair, walking past the infuriated boy she patted him on the shoulder grinning the entire time, childish displays such as the buttons didn't phase her in the slightest. _But_ that doesn't mean she won't take the chance presented to throw the Pureblood ideology right back in the inbred prats face, sometimes, even if only for a few seconds, it was pretty great being her.

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><p><em><strong>I know I promised more but the Philosopher's Stone is the setup for Hermione's super weapon so there's one of my promises, sorry I really want to get back to my other stories so just pushing this out for now. Also writing a borderline sociopath is fun, (I say borderline because she likes SOME people) now that I have a laptop to replace my dearly departed PC and all the unfinished chapters on it I should be getting more out faster. Anyway, REVIEW! <strong>_


	4. Chapter 4

**Bit of an experimental chapter, I decided to go with Canon Dumbledore in that he's a decent guy who made some mistakes since I've got manipulative/dark/senile Dumbles in Black Halloween, and Tired/Burnt Out Hero In 'Another Day in the Life of'. Also taking a route I've never personally seen before and made Petunia a decent Aunt, since Lillith looked so much like Lily she couldn't bring herself to hate her, Vernon though is still a complete bastard. **

** I wanted to write more but the ending was perfect so I'll get strait to work on the next chapter once BH and ADitLo get updated, about 2k words into both those chapters. Anyway I'm rambling, Happy Christmas and as always REVIEW!**

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><p><strong><em>The thing I find truly baffling is the fact that it took seven years, a string of dead defense professors, and countless controversies that I started for my own amusement for the magical community to grasp the fact that I literally do not give a fuck what happens to any of them.-<em>**_Lady Lillith Oriana Potter-Black_

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><p>The Nu Maruader's had entered the Great Hall in high spirits, honestly any morning that began with insulting Malfoy's heritage in a manner he could not refute was a good morning in Lilly's book. As the group sat down at the Gryffindor table they were soon joined by Luna Lovegood who sat next to Ginny and began reading Lilly's favorite rag; it amused her that the Quibbler was more accurate then the Daily Prophet most of the time, that was sadly not saying much.<p>

Not long after that they were joined by Susan Bones and Daphne Greengrass, the two were close friends of Hermione's and by proxy Lilly, it had caused quite a scandal at first having a Slytherin friend but (and no one else quite realized this) Lilly had zero issues surrounding herself with beautiful women. Hey, she was a Potter, and now a Black, she needed no excuses for her proclivities thank you very much.

As the group cheerfully discussed such glorious subjects as the Bulgarian students reeking of vodka and sweat (and not the manly musk of "I worked all day " either, more like "I drank three litres of cheap beer then passed out on our ships deck then came to breakfast unwashed," ick) and how the French ladies wouldn't even touch the Hogwarts breakfast food. Truthfully Lilly was a bit of a health nut after seeing what Vernon's diet had done to him and emulated her aunt's eating habits so she really couldn't blame the foreign students, besides which Hedwig called dibs on all her breakfast meats anyway.

Not long after that said owl landed atop Ginnys head and lifted her leg towards Lilly, the ginger girl looked like she couldn't decide whether to be amused or annoyed so she settled for letting out a slight huff and handed a bit of bacon up to the grateful Hedwig. Breaking the letters seal Lilly nodded slowly,

"All right, dad's going to be here by noon, Uncle Ted can't make it but he's bringing along Auntie 'Droma and Uncle Mooney and...oh...fuck...the Minister and his Undersecretary...bollocks..." Hermione and Neville both grimaced at this news, while Lilly could at least _pretend_ she had something resembling respect for Fudge his toady...heh... was another matter all together. Fred glanced up from his plate asking,

"Thats the woman who tried to have your dad kissed even after all the oaths were taken right?" Grimacing Lilly nodded looking as if she just bit into a lemon,

"Yeah that's her, actually had to sic Prongs on the dementor, man she was pissed when I killed that fucking abomination, although not as furious as Madam Bones was, knew the old War-Witch had limited fucks to give but breaking both of Umbitch's legs while banishing her through the door? Beautiful." That got a giggle out of the buxom redhead sitting beside her, hmm...if Hermione isn't interest...NO, bad hormones.

"Auntie thoroughly enjoyed that, and she was fully justified too, that awful woman tried to have an untried illegally imprisoned Lord of an Ancient and Noble House summarily executed in front of the entire Wizengameot. Honestly she's out for blood for that one and even the likes of Lucius Malfoy are behind her, in the pureblood circles you just don't _do_ that." George snorted at that while rolling his eyes,

"Yes Merlin forbid we show half-bloods and muggle-borns that courtesy, dad's mentioned her a few times, she's the one that tried to force through the anti-werewolf legislation if I remember his rant correctly, Fred and I were in the middle of pranking Percy so didn't catch all of it." Shaking her head while rolling her eyes at her mentors Lilly torched the letter then shooed Hedwig off of Ginny's head and allowed her familiar to perch on her own shoulder, pulling a trio of letters out she grinned at the beautiful owl happily.

"Heyya hon, these go to Fleur Delacour, Viktor Krum, and Cedric all right? And no harassing them for food I'll have Dobby leave you a plate of sausage," hooting in agreement the snowy owl took off to make her deliveries, stretching Lilly let her mind drift a bit lazily wondering what chaos her dad was going to bring with him. Leaving the table the Nu Marauders broke off for their classes and after a particularly boring period of History of Magic Lilly was summoned to the headmasters office along with Hermione and Neville.

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><p>Albus Dumbledore was for all intents and purposes getting too old for this sort of thing, his favorite student, the girl that so reminded him of himself at a young age was once again thrown into the path of danger by Tom's machinations. He'd failed the poor girl more then once, never realizing how horrible her uncle was despite Minerva's warnings, fortunately Petunia surprised all by seeing the Lily in Lillith and treated her like the lost sister she missed so much. While her childhood hadn't been filled with love her Aunt at least cared about her, having her take ballet, martial arts, and violin classes had given Lillith the confidence needed to adapt to and in some ways dominate the wizarding world.<p>

But that uncle...Albus had looked into the mans mind at the guardianship hearing when Sirius had been given custody of Lillith and dearly wished he hadn't, while the girl had given her Aunt a tearful hug goodbye and a promise to visit at least a few weeks a year he'd delved into that pig of a mans depraved fantasies involving the then thirteen year old and felt himself sick. He'd never actually used compulsion charms to control a muggle before but the amount of restraints Albus dropped on that man's mind while his niece stayed at his home during the summer would probably make him brain dead within a decade. The aged Headmaster found it incredibly difficult to care, at least Petunia could collect on the life insurance.

He sighed in exhaustion, she'd finally found a place to truly call home and she was once again dragged into the crosshairs of a cold war she quite literally cared nothing for, staring at the collection of Blacks before him rather sent that point home. Sirius, Andromeda, and Nymphadora all prowled about his office like angry predators sniffing about for weakness, if he were to be honest it was a fair comparison. Even the nice Blacks were more then capable of achieving a level of ruthlessness that any Malfoy would be jealous of, after all being descendants of Merlin's disciples was a far better pedigree then running from France because your head of house was caught having "fun" with his live stock.

Getting the signal that his star pupils had arrived at the Gargoyle statue Albus summoned them upstairs, as the door opened it revealed Lillith and her best friends Hermione and Neville, Lilly was smirking a bit while the other two assessed the room for threats with quick sharp glances. It truly amazed him how similar yet completely different her little group was to that of young Draco Malfoy, were the blonde pureblood sneered at all those around him and formed a circle of sycophants who followed out of fear, greed, or herd mentality Lilly _lead._ Her allies were equals, privy to all she was plotting and scheming (and he knew that happened to be quite a bit, she still hadn't discovered that he'd found out that she owned most of the higher end brothels on the British Isles) and never lashed out at those who didn't deserve it but if people stepped out of line they would reap the whirlwind.

Honestly He'd be concerned she was becoming the next Dark Lady if it wasn't for the simple fact that she held no interest in power, sure she had her hands in more then a few borderline questionable investments and she had no compunctions about injuring those that preyed on the weak but that was all just a shield she had crafted to be left to her own devices. While he felt ashamed of doing so he'd peeked into her mind at the beginning of the term and while the girl leaned deeply into the grey she truly had no desire to rule over others, so he did his best to keep her on the path closest to the light without suffocating her; his train of thought was interrupted when the pink haired Nymphadora bolted across the room and scooped Lilly in a hug.

Spinning the young woman around Lilly squeaked as she was placed back on the ground, giving her cousin the evil eye her scowl was broken when Tonks face changed to that of a rather well known cartoon mouse,

"Wotcher Lilly! Heard you're in a spot of bother so Bonesy sent me to keep an eye on you and yer dad here, said something about seventh year Hufflepuff's and secret passageways or the like," face shifting back to normal she stepped aside as Aunt Andromeda also gave her a more subdued hug and one for Hermione as well, she gave Neville a slight curtsy since he was an heir after all.

"So good to see you dear, how are you? Has there been any headway on finding out who put your name in?" Giving her aunt a sad smile Lilly shook her head,

"I'm all right auntie, pissed off beyond words but all right, and no nothing thus far," finally her dad made his way to her and caught her in a bone crunching hug,

"I'm so sorry honey, I thought I found a way to protect you from this sort of thing with the vow, I feel like I've failed you again," returning the hug Lilly let out a few real tears for once (since they'd be expertly hidden on Sirius' robes) but managed to hold back the sob thank you very much.

"It's not your fault dad...its just...I'm so scared," she whispered so only he could hear, she felt no shame in admitting it, the Basilisk had been the most terrifying thing she'd ever seen and dragons could fly and breath fire on top of being bloody huge flesh eating reptilian monsters. "I don't want to do this and I'm running out of bluster, I can't keep this up...," releasing his daughter Sirius gave her a knowing wink and grin that screamed trouble while her friends and family tactfully made no comments about the tear stains on his shoulder.

"Well we've got a few things to throw a wrench in the works, Moony got his hands on a massive amount of the former Soviet Union's Spetsnaz gear and a few of their conscript wizard spells, think less focus in exchange for more boom." At that Lilly grinned widely,

"Booms good, I'm a big fan of boom," Sirius chuckled as he ruffled her hair fondly while she let out an indignant growl,

"I know you are dear you take after your mum after all, that woman loved herself some explosions. Anyway we have that as well as what 'Droma and 'Dora pulled out of your vaults, already ran it past the Headmaster and while he's apprehensive there's no laws against it since they're family magic." Lilly looked confused for a moment then got it a moment after Hermione. She of the bushy hair burst out excitedly,

"She's allowed to use the blood summoning she learned over the summer isn't she?!" Both of the Tonks ladies grinned at this, Andromeda then nodded towards the headmaster to allow him to explain, the old man gave the trio of students a genial smile before opening a rather old scroll and began examining it.

"Since blood summoning is a derivative of blood magic that lays solely in the domain of witches many pureblood laws illegalized its practice out of a sexist desire to "level the field" so to speak, and while these laws are still on the books there's a caveat to them." Neville snorted speaking up for the first time,

"Of course there is, can't have a law passed to subjugate a minority without having a loophole that can be exploited by rich white wizards," Sirius and 'Dora snorted in amusement at the boys blunt statement as Dumbledore gave him a sad smile,

"Just so Mr. Longbottom, the caveat is that if its classified as family magiks, the witch in question is allowed to become a sorceress summoner, which is just a more politically correct way of saying a blood summoner, just remember young lady that there is great danger in what you can call from the ether. It is your will against that of whatever creature you bind to yourself, normally I wouldn't condone such risks but...well you are at a distinct disadvantage and I agree with you that someone is out to cause you harm, there is no other reason to involve you in this tournament. Just do an old mans heart a favor and run whatever you have planned past your aunt and myself before implementing it, are we agreed?"

Lillith's eyes were glowing with unrestrained glee as she nodded agreement, she'd only been able to summon imps and a few hellhounds while abroad (she'd only been allowed to try her hand at things an irate werewolf could take down easily for her own safety,) and was more then a little excited at the prospect of pushing her rather unique skills to the test. While Blood Summoning was the domain of the Witch only a handful had the power to utilize it, her mother had been one but most of her work had been theoretical out of fear of what she could do. Lillith didn't have that hangup and with the grimmoir's from the Black and Potter vaults at her disposal along with her mothers notes... Eventually Andromeda asked,

"Why is she just standing there smiling?" Neville and Hermione both sighed while exchanging glances, eventually Neville spoke up,

"More then likely she's trying to suppress her urge to laugh maniacally in front of those that are letting her do something shes been obsessing on for months, give her a few more moments and it will clear up." True to his word Lilly's mind finally snapped back into gear,

"This is...most welcome news, thank you all for having faith in me to not screw this up...now to the unpleasantness, I'm supposed to be dealing with Umbitch and Fudge right? And where's Uncle Moony?" Sirius motioned for the Headmasters door to begin ushering the group out as he responded,

"Moony's busy setting up the gear you requested, Professor Dumbledore has graciously given us a pair of guest rooms next to a rather large unused classroom so we've begun setting it up as a training room/armory for you and the other champions," Dumbledore smiled at that,

"Yes I'm quite pleased on your insistence to help your competitor's, Minister Fudge's bluster about improving international goodwill has inadvertently come to pass, I admit some amusement over the fact." Sirius shared the smile before continuing where he left off,

"As for Fudge and the homicidal toad woman they're in the great hall having a row with Bagman and Crouch, apparently the Minister for Magic is less then pleased that the Girl-Who-Lived is being thrown into a tournament he himself sponsored that could potentially get her hurt," Sirius tactfully avoided the 'Killed' word. "Umbridge is umm...well she's ranting about me bringing Moony anywhere near her, even though her anti-werewolf legislature failed thanks to yours truly she's acting as if it passed, crazy bint." As they approached the hall Andromeda and 'Dora bade their farewells to go find Moony, neither had any desire to deal with the coming fireworks, entering the hall the first thing Lilly heard was Crouch's irritating voice.

"And I'm telling you Minister I have _no_ control over it, even if she didn't put her name in the cup she's obligated to participate, trust me the last thing we need is that girl getting herself killed, your not the only one whose name is on the line here." Lilly scowled as she walked up to the group who seemed oblivious that the entirety of Hogwarts was watching the spectacle.

"Well I'm glad my life means so much to your career Mr. Crouch, I'll be sure to send you a card for Yule, Minister Fudge, always a pleasure, Deloras, die in a fire you psychotic bitch." Fudge's smile fell as he blanched at her greeting for his undersecretary who was turning an unhealthy shade of red, realizing he was about to lose control of the situation he pushed past Umbridge before she could explode and quickly shook The-Girl-Who-Lived's hand.

"Always a pleasure Lady Potter-Black, I'm terribly sorry about this entire situation, to think that the goblet would select a fourteen year old for such a competition, unthinkable!" Lilly heard Hermione make a skeptical cough behind her and did her damnedest to keep a strait face,

"Oh I don't blame you Minister I mean how could you have known with all the _fundraising_ you've had to partake in for the coming elections, no rest for the wicked as they say, I should know I've been called a Wicked Witch more then once and I never stop working towards my goals," the looks of confusion on the pair of ministry officials was honestly priceless, seeing Percy standing to the side of Crouch she grinned widely and jumped into the uptight young mans arms.

"Percival! Hows my favorite junior ministry aide?!" Percy smiled fondly down at the young woman while returning the hug then immediately regained his composure,

"Lillith, a pleasure as always, I do have to question the amount of respect you're showing my employers though," dropping his tone so only she could hear he continued with, "And if she died in a fire I'd likely be the one tasked with cleaning it up, personally I'm hoping she falls to a heart attack at home and her cats eat her." Doing her best not to snicker she reflected that the rest of Percy's family truly missed out on his cutting wit by just assuming there was nothing more to him then a bureaucrat. Crouch looked a bit confused as he asked,

"You know Weatherby Lady Potter-Black?" Scowling she turned to her friends boss with both fists on her hips, her eyes taking on a dangerous glint, her friends and family (and Fudge oddly enough, never let it be said the man lacked survival instincts) took a step back before Hurricane Lilly growled out,

"His name is Percival Ignatius _Weasley_, the man didn't work seven years to get O's in all his OWL's and NEWT's as well as making Head Boy to have a failed ministry flunky disrespect his family name in such a manner. Men, honestly," Crouch was gaping like a landed fish while she could hear Moody barking laughter from the head table. Glancing past Crouch she saw a cluster of redheads at the Gryffindor table giving her three looks of awe and one of disgust, whatever not like she was looking for Ronald's approval anyway.

"How...how...how dar-" Lilly cut him off there,

"Don't give a fuck, politically, socially, and aesthetically you're below my interest, you failed me like so many other adults have in my life and I'm now bored talking with you," turning back to Fudge she threw back on her cheerful mask but before she could say anything Umbridge got in her face, goddess that Cardigan smelled like cat piss.

"Listen you little jumped up halfblood whore," the Undersecretary seethed,"I don't know who you think you are or what you think you have to gain by undermining our authority but I will not stand for this kind of treatment!" The high pitched sickly sweet rant rang across the hall as dad began channeling a bit of Padfoot letting out an angry growl, Lilly also noticed the distinct sound of a pair of quick release wand holsters dropping their burdens in their users hands, Goddess she loved Hermione and Neville. Fudge looked like he was about to have a coronary,

"Deloras that is hardly the language to use in this situation," he dropped his voice to a harsh whisper as he continued with, "nor is it the proper venue!" Umbridge finally seemed to notice that the entirety of the great hall was staring at her, Lilly for her part was done playing games.

"It's fine Minister, the opinions of sheep really don't matter much to me, besides its not like she can do anything to a minor anyhow," Deloras paused for a second then a smile that would make all the flys in the room nervous crawled up her horrid face.

"Well...as it happens since you're participating in a Ministry sponsored contest meant only for adults I suppose that means in the eye of the ministry you're of legal age," Lilly blinked rapidly at that trying to process the toads logic.

"I'm fourteen, just because some wanker threw my name in a magical cup doesn't make me an adult, the hell are you on about?" Still smiling Umbridge turned to Fudge,

"The law is fairly strait forward Cornelius, all the legal documentation has said that only an adult is allowed to participate and with her name bound to the contract that means she's magically considered to be of age," her voice dropped to a low growl, "which means she's also open to adult levels of scrutiny." Fudge for his part looked like he was panicking being put on the spot like this, he began stuttering as he spun his lime green bowler hat,

"I-I-I sup-suppose so, I me-mean there really isn't a precedent for it but..." grinning victoriously she spun to face Lilly's blank stare, eventually the emerald eyed young woman asked,

"So you're saying that I'm an adult now in the eyes of the ministry?" Fudge looked pensive as he let out a painful,

"It would appear so..." Lilly sighed, lifted her glasses while rubbing the bridge of her nose, eventually she said,

"Dobby?" With a pop an elf in World War 2 BDU's (including a Webley revolver sidearm) appeared next to the girl, she seemed mildly bemused by the outfit, "Feeling patriotic today are we?" He smiled while giving her a brief salute, rolling her eyes she continued, "Grab my box from Gringots please," ignoring everyone in the room she pulled out an emery board and began filing her nails. After roughly ten seconds Dobby was back holding a large box, thanking the elf Lilly placed the burden on a table and threw it open grinning, Sirius glanced inside and shared his daughters grin while shaking his head,

"Why not, go for it dear," Everyone else seemed quite confused as Lilly began rummaging around, pulling out a goblet with a badger engraved on it she tossed it aside,

"No not Hufflepuff's cup, where is it," grunting in annoyance she pulled out a delicate tiara with a large sapphire in its center and tossed it over her shoulder expertly landing it on Hermione's head, "No not Ravenclaw's Diadem, ugh, AH HA!" Pulling out a large jewelry box Lilly opened it and removed a small locket with a large "S" in the center and looped it around her neck, taking out a handful of rings including a rather gaudy gold one sporting a large black stone she slid them all on her fingers.

"Oh Merlin," Neville breathed as he recognized the rings, grinning Lilly then declared,

"As I have been found to be of the age of majority by the Ministry I Lillith Oriana Potter-Black do so claim my titles through the rights of inheritance, I am now the High Lady of the most Noble and Ancient Houses Potter, Peverell, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff, so it is said, so mote it be!" Her hands began to glow at the fingers then moved its way up her entire form, eventually it faded and instead of a smirking girl with messy hair there stood a lady of elegance in emerald green war robes. The outfit was equipped with burnished silver pauldrons, chest, thigh, and shin plates, and a pair of matching clawed gauntlets, there was a large black cloak hanging from the pauldrons as well as a longsword with an elongated silver cross-tree hilt at her waist.

Meeting Umbridge's horrified gaze Lilly began giggling as she lifted one of her metal shod hands to the Undersecretary, "You done goofed."

* * *

><p><strong>No Lilly isn't going to emancipate herself, this is all shock value to show the school who they'd been screwing over for the past few years and showing off the clout she really had, Sirius is going to be pissed because now he's going to HAVE to go to the Wizengameot meetings in her stead rather then skivving off and letting Moony cover for him. Also, the Horcuxes will be explained, I promise, anyway next chapter is the arming of the Champions, Lilly facing off against Snape, and Lilly using Blood Summoning against a dragon. As Always, REVIEW!<strong>


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